uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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