omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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