I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
