I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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