i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
