Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
