i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
