ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
