Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I wish you could order shots online.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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