Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
