someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
