i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
