whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
