The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
