you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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