Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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