He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize