they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize