dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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