YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize