Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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