i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
