I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
