Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
