Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize