I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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