im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
she smelled like a LAN party
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
