Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
