Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
