remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
