I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
