Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
