his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
we made out on top of his cat.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
