She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
