maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
