he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
