Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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