i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
