I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
