dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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