UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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