we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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