at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize