You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
