My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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