you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
