I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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