I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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