Banned from zoo.
Again?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
