so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
