I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Found the puke drawer
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
