This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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