he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
