well I can't set my house on fire every night
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
My balls are so social today.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
