Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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