There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
