I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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