So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
